This girl is more easily done than said...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
