Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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