Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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