Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
