so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
