everyone is single if you try hard enough
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
