Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
