i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
