Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
