Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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