So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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