So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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