Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
