I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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