thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
