we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
