dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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