The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i've created a new STD.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
