Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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