i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
