shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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