I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
