Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
