I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
