No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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