How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
