He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
