life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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