just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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