dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
