Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
