No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
