Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
