Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
