Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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