just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
