I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
