just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
