I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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