plz talk dirty to me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
