Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
