Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
