great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
