It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
