I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
