she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
