eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
