a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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