did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
