weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
