wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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