The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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