My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
